Tag Archives: poem


‘I can do anything’ she said

‘Just put a crown on my head’

‘There’s four growing from my neck’

‘and I think I’m better off dead‘


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The Bitch

‘I deserve better things!’She screams down the phone

Hair wet with daggers and snakes

I turned to stone when I met her

Just made me love her more

She deserves nothing


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He Dreamt Of Chickens

He dreamt of chickens

Every night

Woke every morning

Filled with fright

KFC brought him

Much delight

Batter them all

Batter them all

chicken grit copyswm


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Taught – A Very Short Story

He didn’t appreciate my writing. My speeches were too long. Too dramatic. Too time consuming.

Peck pecked at strangers words while rubbing his own pen. That’s what makes a great teacher, right?

I listened to his play on Radio 4. The characters said nothing. I’d rather listen to a gobby pissed blonde tart on a street corner than that mumbling monotone.

And as he showed me the door I may have articulated that point far too well.


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Bad Advice

Don’t be taking other people’s words. You’ll get hives.

‘I give you these tips because it worked for me’. Yeah.

They read it in a magazine. Written by someone on a deadline.

Teacher teach their own bad advice

Strike out on your own

And if you want to put a bow on it then stick it on with whatever you want to

Long story short

Fuck ‘em


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Waiting – a Frustrating Poem


It’s just continuous

And frustrating

Births, deaths, contracts

Deliveries, friends, opening hours on a Sunday. 

The last 30 seconds of that eBay order

Busses, trains, aeroplanes

All just a waste of


And yet here I am, sat here, wasting it, nibbling at words, feeling my ass go numb on a wooden chair, waiting for that ping, or ting, or whatever that sound is that alerts everyone that you’re all important and have a message on your phone. 

I’m not important

I am impatient

And that’s the 23rd time I’ve checked





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Controlled Time – A Procrastination Poem

I don’t want to waste time

It’s precious, supposedly

But I sit here, blank, mind retracting from decisions

Don’t move

Why would you say that

In a crowd of people

All shouting louder. LOUDER


I don’t want to waste time

But it’s all so big

And I didn’t make the bed this morning

Like other functioning adults

Can you help me

It’s all so dry and concrete

And there are bottles all over the floor


I don’t want to waste time

Stop making it easy

It’s so beautifully numbing

And I’m in control

I’m in control


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